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RandyH Offline OP
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No I sleep on the couch and she gets bed but things are slowly getting better and I had made this offer to her.She can go to her apt and sleep which is only 3 blocks
away.

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Randy,

Not sure what you mean by slowly getting better. It seems as if your ex is lonely. Mine has OM to keep her from being lonely. Whatever you do, make sure you fix things before it gets too far down the road.

And the offer sound more like a you can go.

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RandyH Offline OP
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I would if I knew how,I have changed so many things and XW is on ADs now.She stays almost every night
at my house and we plan things together for the weekends,we are together all the time.i get home from work and she is
there making supper or hanging out.We aren't sleeping together yet but she is staying over and that hasn't happened in 3 years.
I think she has a time set in her head that if everything is going ok by then ,then she will get into a R.The other night
she said something about she wasn't sure yet because we had been only kind of seeing each other for 6 months.
Things are getting better,I mean she asked me to touch her more now even if it's only to rub her feet or massages.

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Ah, I am reminded of the discussion of foot massages in Pulp Fiction...do you remember that Randy??????

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RandyH Offline OP
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No sorry to say but I never saw it,she said the other night that the only difference between us now and if we were
married is that we would be sleeping together.I see a few others but oh well.She has made plans for us
this weekend to go out with some friends so another good sign.Maybe you can enlighten me

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Randy,

It is scandalous that you haven't seen Pulp Fiction...lol!

Here is the link to the script:
http://www.godamongdirectors.com/scripts/pulp.shtml

Go to this section and you will see a little discussion of foot massages. It starts with 5 and goes through sections 6 and 7.
5. INT. RECEPTION AREA (APARTMENT BUILDING) - MORNING
6. INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING
7. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - MORNING

I get a kick out of that scene, as well as the whole movie.

As for going with friends, I would say that is a good sign. But you know, never assume anything. She seems to be going at her own pace and is still thinking about what she wants. You have made a decision to see this thing through and that is what you need to do.

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RandyH Offline OP
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Thanks I will check it out,we had a good time and she is still staying at my house and we do everything together.
It seems like every night we have something to do with the kids or some place to go but like she said it's like we
are still married we just aren't sleeping together,YET.

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RandyH Offline OP
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Our R is so much better than a year ago but what bugs me is that she doesn't show hardly any affection and really nothing
physical.She says it's the AD's.We have a great time when we are together and she is basicly living at the house.
I haven't gotten any ILY's but she said she won't until she is sure she is ready for a serious R again.Is there anything
else I can do or do I just keep DBing?

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Just keep on doing what your doing. Don't make the mistake I did by trying to push her into an R. You have an R right now, its just not quite where you want it to be yet. I don't know if me and my ex can ever even get back to a dating R again.

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RandyH Offline OP
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I know and I don't put pressure on her I just try to help her along without her knowing,like I picked up a tooth brush for her
and left it on the counter and she started using it instead of going home to do that.I have noticed she is getting kind of flirty with me which is good.
I know her well enough that this is kind of like a first move with her.We were talking yesterday and she said that if I really needed some
to go find some and I told her that wasn't going to happen and if she did I wouldn't be around anymore and I thought she should
treat me with the same rules.I reenforce the fact that we can show affection without sex so I hope that helps

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