XW stayed last night again but was complaining about not sleeping as good on the water bed so I told her we could go get a bed like hers if that would help.It is just so hard not showing you are trying too hard while still trying to prove your worth when it really isn't us that should be doing all the work.
I agree Randy, it should be them that has to prove themselves to us. But we can only try and put ourselves in their shoes as to why they left the marriage to begin with. You are one lucky dog, I wish my ex would want an R like you've got. It is only a matter of time. Hang in there.
randy, I agree sounds great, wish I was at that point. All these are good signs, but do all these signs mean that she is proving herself to you that she is sorry about leaving the marriage. I am not putting you down or bursting your balloon--just wondering how she is regaining your trust--you seem to be bending over backwards of her, she suggests that she can't sleep on your waterbed, so you are all ready to get another bed for her. If I had the chance to sleep in the ex's bed or any other bed in his house, even if I couldn't move the next day because my back was so sore, I wouldn't say anything. I would suck it up and just be greatful that he let me stay.
Anita,I just read your post on elwoods,you might be here if you got away from om.I wouldn't be giving you the time of day either and that the other guy is into drugs and you and your kid are there,wake up get away,sorry to sound so harsh.What happens if he gets busted at home and you are there,you will go to jail and your kid to social services.If you want your marriage then prove it to H.As for me xw says she still isn't ready for a serious R but I have to figure out what she wants from me.I really think she wants to make something but on her terms.
I agree Randy, it has to be on her terms. No matter how much we hurt cause of our love for them, it has to meet some kind of criteria that they have in there head. Last nite I asked my ex to go to the casino with me this weekend. She said no, I really thought she would say yes. I went outside and cried. She came out, we talked some. I spilled my heart to her. She said why couldn't I have felt this way last year. I wish I knew, all I could say. She then said I'm listening to what she says but I don't hear her. I asked her what should I hear. She said, "I don't know." But today I mentioned Hawaii, she seemed hesitant about it. Sons missing school and such. I said ok, I see. She then said Oh no, I'd love to go. She calls me back and asks me to find the flight and hotel, so thats what I'm doing.
I know it plain sucks no matter how much time you are together.It's funny because I know if I dropped her and started dateing someone else she would go crazy.Last night we were talking and she said it would be just like it is now but we would be sleeping together if we got back together.Meaning we spend that much time together now.
Randy: For whatever reason it seems she has a fear about taking that step to get intimate with you . . . perhaps she has gained weight and she doesn't want you to see her without clothes? Just guessing. Or maybe her self confidence/self esteem in this arena is not up there and she can't imagine being able to please you?
Thanks for the encouraging words,I don't know what the deal is.I know eventually something will have to change. I have waited 3 years i guess I will wait awhile longer
I don't know if Missy is right or not. But the fact that you have waited this long menas you will see this through to the end one way or the other. You have nothing to lose. I take it she sleep with you. That is a good sign. How do you sleep???
