Thanks for checking in on me everyone, I had a ok fathers day, kids are young, so its a constant taking care of them, each one wants something else to eat, cooked a big dinner, brats, chicken, corn and potato salad, young kids like mine really don't appreciate it. They are young so its ok, would have been nice if I had someone to cook for, and sit around afterwards to talk. Had little or no adult conversations on fathers day except at father-in-laws.
W showed up a her dads same time the kids and I showed up, she took S5 hand and walked in to her mom and dads house like nothing was wrong.
Kids and I went outside before bed and caught some lightning bugs, that was fun watching them run around the yard with smiles on their faces, no cares in the world.
When kids went to bed on fathers day, the house was a mess, so I cleaned the kitchen, and scrubbed out both bathrooms. Only thing W had to do when she came over Monday morning was some laundry
I didn't tell W pastor asked about her. she won't attend church anyway so he'll never see her.
Stuff continues to leave the house. contaners from the kitchen, her bike, plants, cookware, a couple bottles of wine. I'll be glad when stuff stops disapearing.
We got into a disagreement this morning about D9 she has several events that overlap and W decided which ones were more important. I called W from work because I knew she was upset I tried to make ammends, but got the I take care of the kids for 12 hours straight with no help speech, so I let her complain.
When I got home I was to take D9 to one of her events and she was to have a number of forms, when I called W to ask her where the forms were at, she had one with her and failed to fill out the other one. said she was sorry and that she has a hard time keeping everything straight becasue the kids drive her crazy.
I really don't want W around, she is off in her own little world, gets to be mom and runs off as soon as I get home to do what she wants at her place with OM.
Well "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" I hear whistling in my head. I'll find love again someday. I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. I'm a stubborn old German.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Lightening bug catching....such a good daddy! Simple pleasures with the kids are the best. It is why we had a kid in the first place.
You are mentioning things disappearing. That would be very disconcerting to me. Have you talked about what she can have and what you can have?
Your W likes being a part time mom. I have a friend who is the same way. She is happier now being with her kids part time than she was before. Some women are like this....or it is a selfish stage that maybe changes in the future????? The thought of being a part time mom kills me...makes me tear up instantly.
Haven't checked in on ya in a while, and wanted to see how you were doing. You are doing all the right things for "moving on".
Happy belated Father's Day and I'm glad you at least had good food on your day. You'll be meeting some single guy friends or married guy friends that have lots of time on their hands soon. I've seen this happen. When you do, you will have some more adult conversation and companionship. Until then....you are doing just find all by your lonesome. Great attitude, really.
I'm tierd of things disapearing It tears at my heart to see one more piece of my life leave the house. One by one, they slowly leave its hard to believe.
I said take what you want it really doesn't matter, just leave behind what's important to me, just leave the little ones here, here safe with me.
They are so scared that I will leave them too they are constantly asking where are you. I try to reassure them that I will be here that I will not leave them ever. My son breaks my heart when he looks at me and he says, where are you going dad I need to know, where are you at dad I'm just checking to see.
I can see the pain in his eyes, the uncertantity he feels. It tears at my heart to hear him talk this way I try to let kids be kids, they are so happy as we run to catch fire-flies. They shouldn't have to feel this way, the pain they must feel inside the uncertantity of who will be there for them day after day.
It tears at my heart to know that I tried she does understand, how I feel inside. She knows I tried, it just wasn't to be she needs her own space to get through the day.
It tears at my heart to hear someone say where is your wife, where is she today. I smile and keep it bottled up inside that I don't know where she can be found I don't know if she'll be around. I really don't know, but I keep a smile on my face and turn around and go.
It tears at my heart, to think what she has done, not to me but to the children, the little ones.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Love hurts, love scars, Love wounds, and marks, Any heart, not tough, Or strong, enough To take a lot of pain, Take a lot of pain Love is like a cloud Holds a lot of rain Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Im young, I know, But even so I know a thing, or two I learned, from you I really learned a lot, Really learned a lot Love is like a flame It burns you when its hot Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Some fools think of happiness Blissfulness, togetherness Some fools fool themselves I guess Theyre not foolin me
I know it isnt true, I know it isnt true Love is just a lie, Made to make you blue Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts Ooh,ooh love hurts
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Wife was late for work this morning (15 min) she said she was tired. When I responded that we are all tired, she snapped back what don't your think that I work hard. I calmly said nothing other that you told me you would be here between 6:30 and 7am, and I walked out the door.
As always, I felt bad, so I called her from work under the guise that I needed to update her on some scheduling issues. She complained a lot about her boss, how much help they get with their one child. She told me how much she does for the kids and her parents never did anything like she does for our kids.(do you see ongoing complaint, how much help others get and she doesn't - how much she does for the kids that her parents didn't do for her). I hear this all the time.
FYI: W is taking kids to the pool today, so she'll be able to lay back and relax while kids play (really tuff life - don't work so hard)
She said the kids are ignoring her, she will tell them to do something or stay put,. and they just ignore what she is telling them especially S5, her baby.
She told me her back still hurts her from falling down the stairs drunk several weeks back. She told me that her mother was over at the house last week (old news to me because the kids told me) she said she told her mom (old news to me because I knew her mom would see furniture gone and also neighbor told me).
She said I should tell my mom, I said ok I'll take care of it (old news for my mom). I told her that the pastor pulled me aside after mass on Sunday and asked if she left me, W said that was interesting, was wondering who was spreading rumors.
Now I was sympathetic up to this point, told her to take it easy, so she doesn't hurt her back, sympathetic about her not getting help like others do, sympathetic about her being tired and working hard, but after I told her about the pastor pulling me aside, she said well I guess honesty is the best policy, I said what you have to be joking, honesty is the best policy you have to be joking, she said we all make mistakes. I said whatever and I have to go, and I ended to conversation.
I am trying to ignore her, but that doesn't feel right, she wants to talk and tries to draw me into conversations, I feel like I should be sympathetic with her and forgiving, but then I get crap like honesty is the best policy I really don't know what to do with that.
I was thinking about something and it is true, I cannot look my W in the eyes anymore, I avoid eye contact with her.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Wife was late for work this morning (15 min) she said she was tired. When I responded that we are all tired, she snapped back what don't your think that I work hard. I calmly said nothing other that you told me you would be here between 6:30 and 7am, and I walked out the door
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Jeff, I think it sounds like you were (are) angry with your W. I think your W sounds depressed (I'm starting to think many WAS are depressed) and looking for maybe empathy/sympathy for you. I think you can either choose to give it or just don't say anything maybe. I have to say as a sahm who hasn't been appreciated for anything in years, I am a little sympathetic/empathetic about this issue.
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As always, I felt bad, so I called her from work under the guise that I needed to update her on some scheduling issues. She complained a lot about her boss, how much help they get with their one child. She told me how much she does for the kids and her parents never did anything like she does for our kids.(do you see ongoing complaint, how much help others get and she doesn't - how much she does for the kids that her parents didn't do for her). I hear this all the time.
I believe you already are helping her out quite a bit, but it sounds like she doesn't feel appreciated maybe? Again, either agree with her about her being a good mom/what she does for the kids or don't. Maybe if you expressed more comments like that or offered comments like that volunarily, she might not go fishing for them a lot?
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FYI: W is taking kids to the pool today, so she'll be able to lay back and relax while kids play (really tuff life - don't work so hard)
Jeff, even going to the pool with kids is not always/usually the relaxing life!!!! I think you know that!!!
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She said the kids are ignoring her, she will tell them to do something or stay put,. and they just ignore what she is telling them especially S5, her baby.
Kids will do that!!!! Again it sounds like she is wanting your understanding about that; did you give it?
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but after I told her about the pastor pulling me aside, she said well I guess honesty is the best policy,[/b] I said what you have to be joking, honesty is the best policy you have to be joking, she said we all make mistakes. I said whatever and I have to go, and I ended to conversation.
[ I'm sorry but I laughed at that; WAS say the funniest (dumbest) things sometimes....what can you do, but try not to laugh out loud!!!
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I was thinking about something and it is true, I cannot look my W in the eyes anymore, I avoid eye contact with her.
I've noticed my H and I avoid eye contact with each other. Don't know what that's about???
Jeff, sorry if I'm totally cranky with you!!! If she is bothering you and making you upset, which it sounds like, it might be best for you to avoid & ignore her, go dim, or whatever, but still be distantly friendly? Karen
I said what you have to be joking, honesty is the best policy you have to be joking, she said we all make mistakes. I said whatever and I have to go, and I ended to conversation.