H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[happycamper]

On Saturday when he told me the relief was tangible. I suddenly found the honesty from my H that I craved our whole relationship. I made me feel that everything was ok, he did love me after all, he was kind, loving, funny.

Then gradually what he was saying sank in and some very dark, angry and hurt feelings have started to settle in. How could he do this to me, someone he was supposed to have loved? Who is this man I married?

He is sorry for the hurt this has caused me, and he admits it would have been much braver to tell me when he started the long term A (in 1999, shortly after the birth of D) but he can't say sorry for the A, because he says that wouldn't be honest. If he was sorry, surely he would have stopped it. Aparently its ending was mutual.

There is no sobbing, no pleading, no making up to me for what he has done. It is over. I have no rights.

And it feels like he has ruined my life. I will be left on my own to bring up the four children, living on benefits.