H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[happycamper]

I have spent the last 15 years of my life assuming I am an anxiety-ridden person, prone to worry and fear. Frightened of the post (bank statements) frightened of the phone (banks calling) frighened of his wardrobe and bags (finding receipts or notes). I am now wondering if that was only me with him, and not me all the time.

The thought of a future that I control is hopeful. But then I also recognise I am going to be lonely. I am 35, with 4 children - who is really going to want to take me on? *cries* Am I going to be on my own? Will I ever kiss anyone properly again?

I have not been without fault in this whole affair, if you read my SSM thread you can see some of the damage that I did.