H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[happycamper]

On the one hand there is relief. This man has been dishonest with me from day one. This is partly not his fault as he did suffer sexual abuse as a child and thanks to the lovely DanceQueen I do understand the impact that will have had on him. But when we married (we were both christians and I was a virgin) he told me he had had 3 sexual partners.

Gradually as the marriage progressed, he admitted that actually his past before me had been very different. Not only had he had many more than 3 partners, but he had also had a drug habit, taken part in group sex, and sadly had sex for drugs with another man. The last parts of this tale I only learned 3 weeks ago.

He ran up considerable debts behind my back, with secret credit cards and even special addresses for the statements to go to.

Finally 2 years ago he admitted he no longer believed in the faith that I thought he held and left the church completely. Of course he is more than entitled to do this but it left me very shocked.

I always got the feeling there was something he wasn't being honest about, and he was distant alot of the time. I just put it down to that being his personality.