My question is how do you get them to go over the edge and come back when they are so close?My X is at the house every night and doing more and leaving stuff there but she won't come back yet,do you just have to wait them out or what?
Well randy, I guess now for me it is as bad as it can get. Because I have stood up for my rights, heard her threaten me with a restraining order for the last time, she is mad as hell at me. I don't know if we can ever get over this, even to a point of civility or friendship.
Quoting RandyH: My question is how do you get them to go over the edge and come back when they are so close?My X is at the house every night and doing
more and leaving stuff there but she won't come back yet,do you just have to wait them out or what?
Well Randy, it looks like your W is literally baby stepping her way back to you. You have to keep being patient and continue doing what works, but don't be afraid to keep trying or revisit changes to search for more of what works.
Now that W has said herself "we're dating". It could be a sign that she is consider taking the R to the next level. Have you asked her out on a "real" date. It might be time to. Just the two of you ... formal attire ... dress to "kill" ... greet her with flowers ... some Fine Dining ... maybe a little night dancing afterwards ... quiet walk in a park ... or scenic overlook to park ... well you get the picture.
Elwood,I guess the first thing was I was there when she wanted sometimes but not always.She had the same calenders for the kids so I didn't remind her she basicly got left behind.There were times when she didn't talk to them from wedesday until sunday while I called every day when she had them.It started changing slowly and now she is at the house every day and more and more of her stuff gets left there whether its something she brought over to cook with or whatever.Invite her to do fun non threatening things with you and son but not everytime.
I have asked her out for a real date and we have done some things together and had a good time.We seem to have so much going right now that it seems tough so we just spend time together.
Thats my weakness that after 3 years I want to get into a hurry.X is still coming over everyday so we are together alot and she makes comments about getting back together.She got kind of piisy yesterday and i told her I was tired of not knowing what the rules were anyway and if she wanted to quit trying then say so and I would move on.So when we got home she cooked supper and watched TV.It's like she is scared to go to far because of what might happen. When I told her that I was in a calm but firm tone of voice and just dropped it after I told her.I figure I will see her tonight.
I have to get over my being so anxious about her geting closer and being physical.She says she isn't ready for a relationship but we have been together every day after work and eat supper or do something for over 6 months.She mentions little things I might say or do as reasons why she isn't sure.These are little things that if I worried about her I would have been long gone. i just wonder if I can ever be good enough.I think she is going back on her AD. We got a prescription yesterday and she mentioned that.I can't figure out what would help get her over this hump.She says it's all her.
