Hey Cat! To answer your question not in order, we've been separated 19 months, since Nov 8, 2006.(18th anniv of her father's death a man who I wanted to be like for so long but didn't feel worthy which was a root of a lot of my personal issues. I finally realized it was in my all along and all I had to do was change how I viewed myself. Huge burden removed then!)
Yes we have a rather detailed separation agreement that outlines custody. We have joint(50-50) custody. There are specific provisions for special days like birthdays, father and mothers days, and a schedule for holidays and vacations. So far its worked out very well and I think we've parented and worked together very well. (Notice I didn't say co-parent because that seems like an odd way to refer to it to me, we are still parents.)
Right now I think she's trying desperately to establish her own life, meaning GAL as Michele puts it. With that it means distancing herself from me further and trying to create her identity independent of me or being Mrs. Catfan. In some regards, she seems to think that means absolutely as little communication as possible. I think this gets back to another issue, she never lived or was on her own. After high school she went from her parents to college, we met her 1st semester, spent most of our time together for my last 2 years, I graduated, we got engaged 2 months later, she graduated 6 months after that, we got married 2 months after that then bought our 1st house 2 months after that!! In other words in 4 years she went from high school cheerleader living under daddy's wing to being married and a homeowner!
I did tell her Sunday night that I didn't appreciate that she hadn't given me any idea of what to expect Sunday and told her that I had things to do and wasn't just sitting around waiting for her call. She did give me a sincere apology but then qualified it with "I thought we decided to just leave it open." She did apologize a second time and I do believe she realized she had overstepped. That all said, she did say she'd get me the travel info. Well here 2 days later, nothing, which I was somewhat expecting because I don't believe she has those details worked out. Now she has to figure them out because she knows I can legally prevent her from taking the girls.
As for the car, its her car but in my name and in her possession.(I purchased it in Nov 06 prior to us moving back from the UK in Dec 06. We needed the car.) Again the separation agreement is very clear here and I have been considerate given the transmission was out in it and she didn't have the money to have it repaired. It was repaired last week so now I expect action and she knows it. If not by this week then I have legal recourse which I will pursue.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
