I'm feeling really shaky today, and not sure what I'm going to do about it. What else is new. Talking to my H made me realize how much seeing the actual volume of communication is affecting me.
I don't feel like I can make any demands until he says that he wants to recommit to our M. At that point, I can see saying, okay, now we're going to have the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and once that's done, then we can start over.
At this point, if I ask for that, it will probably push him out the door. I have moments when I feel ready for that, and the longer he's gone, the more I feel it.
The kids seem quite aware of his absence, but if he wasn't living here, they would be seeing him more often than now, when he's not even in the same city.
Maybe I can ask him what it would take for HIM to feel as though he's getting a 'fresh start', which is one of his reasons for feeling that he needs to leave. I don't know why he thinks it would be a fresh start - he would still have done what he has done and would be dealing with a different kind of fallout, that's all.
