Walking in the Susan Komen Race for the Cure this weekend for the first time with my mom and some friends. I've heard that it can be very inspirational.
Even though X has contacted me three times in the last month again, I believe the letter that I wrote him months ago worked to some extent. He texted me this morning and asked if I was at work. I said yes. Then, he said sorry I didn't mean to bother you. Have a good day. He followed the "no contact" for a few months, but seemed to have slipped in the last few weeks again. At least he's obeying boundaries to some extent.
X and OW's baby was baptized on Sunday....yep, on Father's Day. I don't have anything against this innocent child, but I've having a hard time accepting that a baby born from adultery can get baptized in the Catholic Church. If he was older and he wanted to get baptized, I would be fine with that.....I'm not okay with the immoral parents making the decision.
Sunday was also the one year annivesary of when I told X that I was done and gave him my goodbye letter. We never turned back after that. That was the day that I accepted that my marriage was over and that I did all I could.
My relationship with B is falling apart. I'm going to pull back big time and see how he reacts.....there's a chance that I won't ever hear from him again. I talked to the woman that set us up last weekend and she said that he's just not in a good place with his job loss, family, etc. She said either he will wake up or he is going to look back at this and say damn, why did I ever let that girl slip away. She said that I am the best girl that she found in years, but he just can't seem to get it together.
So it seems like I have three failed relationships in my life now and not a one that I can really explain :-( First there was X....met at age 16, together for 11 years when he started his affair Then there was C....came on strong and then disappeared after 2.5 months....we just didn't click Then there was B....had a lot of potential....started well, got along great, but he seems to be afraid of commitment....took a turn for the worse when he lost his job. It's been 2.5 months and I'm guessing it's going to be over soon because he doesn't have his life together and doesn't seem all that interested in trying to make things work with me.
So here I sit still alone...and I can't help from wondering if I'm doing something to drive these guys away.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
