Well, new thread. H was an a$$hole to me tonight because he called and was going to come over, but we were on our way to the store (imagine the gall!!!) so he couldn't come over and grace us with his presence. Instead he went to have dinner at the cardroom and play in the "free" Blackjack tournament. He doesn't have any money so he couldn't play any "live" poker or anything, but it is just the point that he needs to use any pi$$poor excuse to go there.
After he got put out of the tournament he met us at the park so he could pitch to DS and DD and I left to put the groceries away. We were on our way back and he called wanting to know where we were...ummmm, on our way Cpt. Impatient! Jesus don't have a thrombo ...were pulling into the parking lot. He didn't come over to the house afterwards because he is in a bad mood...yah think? He was explaining to me that he wouldn't be good company because he is in such a bad mood, etc. So I had to tell him, after the third time that I get that hes not in a good mood and shockingly enough neither am I, so its SO OK. Don't come over!
link to previous thread. I just can't do it right. LOL
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Exactly S&S, it's just words. Let it roll off your back. Vent here since we're here for you and in the same (well, similar) boats. But don't let his words seap into you causing anger on your part at all.
Yeah, I wonder if addicts like your H and my H (even though he is a sober alcoholic or used to be last time I checked) are more moody and irritable than non-addicts? My H was nasty on the phone the other night (and I did let it upset me) but then the next day was fine and normal on the phone. He probably either had an argument with OW or maybe the pain of his broken leg made him horrible. It's silly to waste time being upset over their anger issues; although easier said than done of course!!! Karen
Definately easier said than done. I've been S since H left Aug 06 and just Sunday was very hurt by his spew. And only a couple hours afterwards, he was fine and acted okay and said it was all because he's not feeling well (he's come down with pneumonia). No excuse in my book, but hey, at least the anger alien left him for now again.
I'm not all that worried about it, whatever it is, is not my problem. It was just irritating that he had to keep going over and over it. I mean its ok to treat me like I'm 5, but after the first 2 times...heard'ya!
Maybe its withdrawl, maybe he and the Troll had a spat, maybe hes just a f*cktard(thank you GFI!)...who knows, who cares. I just don't have time for it right now. Between work, the kids, my class and life in general there isn't much sympathy left for the self created issues of others. I'm not even mad, I'm just too busy for it to dumped on me.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Wow, look at how wonderfully strong you sound! I wish I could hold the same kind of attitude long enough to get it to stick!
Its not necessarily a good thing. I'm pretty much at the point where not matter which way it goes I'll be fine with it because I just need some peace and quiet and time to myself. Feels and sounds kinda selfish, but once you get that its NOT ABOUT YOU. I mean really get it, then you no longer have the time, energy or inclination to accept responsibility for the things you didn't do to create the situation or to fix something that isn't yours to fix. My H will either get better...or not. He will either be with the OW...or not. I have no control one way or the other, so I just do what I can for me and the kids and the rest will fall into place. That is just life.
I will have to go and read your thread. I have much respect for someone who can still be doing this after almost 2 years. If it comes to that, I don't know if I would have the strength to fight anymore.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Please don't admire me at all. I've sucked at doing this! I didn't find this site until Aug 07 (a year after H left) and I've done quite poorly at DB'ing as well. Probably why I'm stuck right now with my feelings.
Jesus don't have a thrombo 
He was explaining to me that he wouldn't be good company because he is in such a bad mood, etc. So I had to tell him, after the third time that I get that hes not in a good mood and shockingly enough neither am I, so its SO OK. Don't come over!
Karen
)...who knows, who cares. I just don't have time for it right now. Between work, the kids, my class and life in general there isn't much sympathy left for the self created issues of others. I'm not even mad, I'm just too busy for it to dumped on me.