Thanks guys for the replies,First off she is a person that may have to be on them forever,she even admits that she can't stand herself if she's not on ADs.Yes I can tell within a couple of days that she ran out.I guess I am in a good postion to make this work. Last night she played ball and the girls didn't want to go because it was too hot so we stayed home.She called when it was done and said the team had been sitting around talking as they do most of the time and and asked if it was ok if she went to her girlfriends house for a while and if I could keep the kids,I said that was fine just be careful.That would have normally been it but then a team mate that was playing another game asked her to come by the game and give her a ride to her bfs and she called me back and asked if that was ok and I kept upbeat and said the same thing as before.I called her this morning and told her since I didn't hear from her when she got home I worried and she said she didn't know I wanted her to call but I could have called her at 1:00am when i woke up.There were several things that show she was trying to make peace and it was nice because once she knew I would keep the kids alnight she could have just been done with me but she kept calling. Sorry this was so long but it is a big change from the old days.I'm looking forward to vacation soon,if the kids get done with all their summer activities.
Randy sometimes when I read your sitch it is so scary, because it sounds so much like mine. How long have you been divorced, and how long was it before you two started seeing each other again. I'm curious.
In november it will have been 2 years D and 1 year S.It seems like forever.Last summer we went on vacation together and afterwards found out she was seeing if she could "get" any feeling back and then things cooled off.Back in April she had surgery and i stayed at the hospital for a week with her making trips bring the kids back and forth.After that she seemed to start warming up.Now she has been at the house for the last 13 days out of 15 most of the time when I get home from work. She treats it like it is still hers,which I don't mind.Like changing the furniture around weeding the flower bed and changing stuff in the yard. She even called several times the other day to ask if it was ok for her to do some things when she was out with friends.The thing tha drives me crazy is that she won't hug or put her arm around me or things like that.I'm not talking sex just touching,she says it may be a while yet and don't push her.There has been a couple of times that she has bought something for her apt. and I would make the comment that you must not plan on moving home and she just replies"if thats what you think"and that buying that won't stop me.The biggest thing to realize is they make most of the rules but they really don't ,you have to let them think they do.They want to see that changes are there to stay and they are always watching.Also don't push.The best saying to remember is that when you plant a tree you don't pull it up every week to see if the roots are growing.Good luck
I guess the biggest mistake I made was moving out. I did it under the pretense that I wanted only to make her happy and it wouldn't be fair to make her and really my son to move out. I like what you said about the tree and the roots, that is very wise. Me and my ex do touch, hold hands and have been intimate, but only when we are out of town. She had even shown some of this around our son.
I keep hoping that she will come to her senses and ask me to come back. But there is nothing I can give her that she would want me to come back, except myself. If that happens then I know it is really love and not any knid of material thing. This would really prove that she does love me, but how long can I wait. Every sec is a minute, every min and hr. every hr a day, every day a week every week a month, every month a yr.
Maybe thats where they get that for every year of a bad marriage it takes at least one month. Randy how many yrs did your ex say was bad. Mine said 10. If that is true then 10 mths will have to go by before I can really think about us being together again.
randy, thanks for posting on my thread. I can't say if I iniated the touching or not, it seems like it was kind of mutual. I do know that I now feel like when we are out of town I can hold her hand or touch her or even kiss.
I don't have any advice on how to start, except maybe some light touches on her arm or something. Touch her in a way that would not make her think of sex. Most women want to be be touched and now that they are thought of, but to many times we men touch our wives only to initiate sex. Not to just show them that we care for them and expect nothing in return. IMHO.
"Touch her in a way that would not make her think of sex. Most women want to be be touched and know that they are thought of, but to many times we men touch our wives only to initiate sex. Not to just show them that we care for them and expect nothing in return."
thanks for all your wise words.Last night we were jokeing around and I said well I am just going to give you a great big hug and I did give her a hug we were just laughing and she didn't slap me or anything so I guess it went ok.She cooked supper at my house again last night and stayed there with the kids until I got done doing some work.It was kind of funny because I was standing in the front of the stove and she reached over to change a burner so I kind of stepped back and she said what are you afraid I was going to touch "it"I just said i am not the one that thinks they will die if they do.We just laughed about it
Well elwood no hugs and kisses but we did have a good weekend.The 2 of us and a couple of friends went out friday night and then saturday night just her and I went out.We had a good time and even talked alittle R talk. She says she isn't ready to commit and she wants to make sure.i maybe shouldn't have said anything but I told her that if she wasn't thinking about comming home then we might as well throw in the towel.So sunday we spent all day together and she is coming for supper tonight.She even bought a cabinet for my kitchen,I mean a big shelve type cabinet
