Piecing after divorce II

[RandyH]

I wish I could get my PMA in line,some little thing happens and I go to pieces.When if I would have let it pass
the next day would probably have been fine.She is so hot and cold.One week she will want to do something every other day
and the next week I won't hear from her.The kids and I are going to have a good time this weekend and thats what matters.
Everybody have a great weekend.

[RandyH]

I hope everyone had a good weekend,Mine started friday evening when x brought the kids over to swim and a friend
stopped by and we drank a few beers.The X took the kids to a party and when she brought 1 of them back to stay
at my house I called her and told her i was probably going to take the pool down and get my own ,that I couldn't do
this back and forth stuff and she needed to decide if she wanted me to stay around and if she was going to work on it.
So guess what she is nice as hell saturday and we all go eat supper and hang out at my house and sunday
she calls to see if we want to go eat breakfast and we spend the day together until 9:00 last night and have a good time.
I guess she knows how far to push me too,i just wonder because if she wasn't thinking why would it matter?
I just have to remember not to pull that new tree out of the ground to see if it is growing this week.

[RandyH]

Guess what my X asked me to lunch today,this hasn't happened in a long time.It was weird because she would ask me to
breakfast and was always at my house but for some reason she wouldn't do lunch,I think mainly because all our friends were ther.
Things are going good I just have to remember that.

[RandyH]

We had another good weekend,X was at my house all day both days and even stayed there sunday while I was
running the kids around.I did let myself get pulled into a small R talk and it ended when i told her that I could bring all
her stuff to her if thats what she wanted and we could act like we were D,she didn't answer that.We have started flirting some and she tells me she doesn't have a sex
drive since being on meds.I don't care and told her so,we can worry about that later,first we have to get where
she wants a hug or kiss and just be close.i really think that sometime she will just start moving back in slowly.I just hope I ca wait that long.Does anyone have any ideas
for being apart this long and what to do?

[tbone]

It has been a while since I replied on your thread and I can't believe she is still "stuck". I think this whole board is unsure what to tell you. Your sitch is great for the kids but so hard on you. Your patience is comparable to Zebra's and amazes me. I have said in the past to pursue other people to fill that gap in your life and either you might find someone great or she will become "unstuck", or both. You seem to be asking a little more lately for what you need and that seems to be working so keep doing what works.

TBONE

[RandyH]

thanks for the reply tbone,it has been awhile.I just keep chugging along.We are spending 10 times more time together than 6 months ago.
I hope this is a good sign.I told her a couple of weeks a gao when she started getting distant that i couldn't keep
playing this game and she had better decide if she wanted to be involved or not.Well the next day and ever since
she has been pretty involved.The thing is my grocery bill has gone up but I guess thats whatI have to deal with.
oh well the good with the bad.She has to get it through her head that a good relationship doesn't mean you will
never disagree about anything it just means that when a problem comes up you work it out together.

[RandyH]

Got home after work last night and the x has the kids over swimming and is in the kitchen making supper.I think she is happier
right now but I wish she would decide she wants a R.I wish she would make the effort to let us get close.Last week
when we were talking I said something about her not trying and she said "well if thats what you think"so that must be her way
of saying she is trying.i wonder if I should be backing off or keep going the way things are

[RandyH]

Another good weekend,we all went to the baseball game friday night and she was here saturday morning and we were
together untill 11:00pm then on sunday she showed up at 9:00 am and we were together until 10:00pm.I have been going to her
softball games every sunday and yesterday the daughters didn't want to go but instead of asking me to watch them she said they could
go to their grandmothers and I went with her.We had a good time and we are going to be together tonight.I really dread this weekend with
the holiday but I will have to get over that.I wish I could read her mind.

[RandyH]

Why is it that it seems like we have a good weekend when together but then she gets cold and moody.I might have screwed up
but yesterday i sent her an e-mail just saying that I have really enjoyed the time we have been spending together but I wondered
sometimes what her plans were.I said that if you weren't feeling better about us then maybe we are going down the wrong road.
i also told her I thought conseling would help and that she knew how much I cared and that I know I am not perfect and I have wants and one of
those is to be with someone I know cares.I would like her to talk to me about this but if not I would know what her
plans were if she didn't ask me to do anything.No response from her.Right before I got off work she called and asked if I was
eating supper with them,so I did.But today she still acts moody but yet she called me and asked me about some things earlier.

[SuitedUp]

RandyH,

Perhaps there was a little pressure there, i.e. asking for her future plans, going to counselling (this is a no! no! for fogged up WAW's).

The hot & cold behaviour your are witness to, may perpetuate so long as you keep doing what you are doing! You've recognized before that you are obsessive of your W and that she loves you. You need to break this dynamic and the sooner you do, the sooner you will reach your goals.

For my $0.02 worth and it is just my opinion and my comments will surely be met with disgust by the matriarchs of this board, but man, go out and get yourself a date....better still get several until you find yourself a steady buddy.

It seems, and I have seen it too many times, that the light goes off in the heads of WAW's once they honestly realise what it is that they stand to lose.

You my friend, are a decent man that loves his family and for the effort that you are putting in, you are not getting the rewards. You know what they say about where good guys finish?

Suit