I'm tierd of things disapearing It tears at my heart to see one more piece of my life leave the house. One by one, they slowly leave its hard to believe.
I said take what you want it really doesn't matter, just leave behind what's important to me, just leave the little ones here, here safe with me.
They are so scared that I will leave them too they are constantly asking where are you. I try to reassure them that I will be here that I will not leave them ever. My son breaks my heart when he looks at me and he says, where are you going dad I need to know, where are you at dad I'm just checking to see.
I can see the pain in his eyes, the uncertantity he feels. It tears at my heart to hear him talk this way I try to let kids be kids, they are so happy as we run to catch fire-flies. They shouldn't have to feel this way, the pain they must feel inside the uncertantity of who will be there for them day after day.
It tears at my heart to know that I tried she does understand, how I feel inside. She knows I tried, it just wasn't to be she needs her own space to get through the day.
It tears at my heart to hear someone say where is your wife, where is she today. I smile and keep it bottled up inside that I don't know where she can be found I don't know if she'll be around. I really don't know, but I keep a smile on my face and turn around and go.
It tears at my heart, to think what she has done, not to me but to the children, the little ones.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
