The best way of DB'ing that I know of is to do nothing. Enjoy my life and watch as my W self destructs. Watch as her best friends move out of state for bigger and better opportunites. I watch as her past spending spree comes back to haunt her. I watch her face as collection agencies asked when the credit card bill is going to be paid. All this while I enjoy my life.
I treat myself to a good meal here and there. I take D10 to a movie and shopping afterwards. I make my own plans on the weekends and always invite my wife. Sometimes she'll take me up on my offer and sometimes she has other plans. Either way I have a good time and make sure she knows about it. If I have a bad time I let her know; a few days later. Now my W enjoys my company and sometimes I can make her laugh. Sadly though things are still the same.
I asked my W if she wants to join D10 and me at the movies. My W told me she doesn't like the movies anymore. I told her that I don't like going to all the movies but I enjoy D10's company. Then I suggested my W just do something for D10. Then a thought came across my mind which I expressed to my W.
I said honey don't take this the wrong way, but your a selfish person. Somethings you can do for D10 or even me. You had a chance to go to the movies with your daughter, someone who wants to do more as a family. Not my words but D10s words. By thinking of only yourself your're missing out on so much.
Then I told her that our R isn't doing so well. That I use to think of only her and kept my eyes clear of other woman. Now, when I see other woman I wonder if they would date me. Yes I said that to my W. Her only response was silence. No I wasn't trying to get a reaction from her. Instead I was telling her how low our M had sunk.
Sometimes when I'm talking to my W, I notice I talk about our M in the past tense. I don't do this on purpose, but I find myself correcting myself too much. When we were M'd I would say. My SS21 asked me why a woman we know went back to her maiden name. I gave him an answer and he wanted to know why didn't Mom use her maiden name before she re-married. I told him b/c she's not divorced yet and he asked what I meant by yet. It was another slip of the tongue.
I told my W she blew it with our MC. That she had a chance to keep me in line. I reminded her how our MC would tell me to back off when I was making a mistake or making my W uncomfortable with the things I said. I asked her how many times did the MC yell at you. She didn't remember, so I reminded her. None. I told her if she just tried, the MC wouldn't let me go overboard. He would of reminded me not to expect too much, instead you didn't do anything.
I said some of these things to my W today. Some of these things I said a few weeks ago. What I'm trying to say now is that things are still the same. She will come home late tonight and I won't have any idea what time she came in. She might sleep downstairs or she might come upstairs. Either way its still the same two strangers living in the same house, sometimes sleeping in the same bed.
