W and I piecing this M back together #3

[Rob1231]

Hi Lan! Back from vacation - I could read along on your thread on my phone, but not post. Anyways...

As I have read about your W's manipulative and childish ways, I could certainly feel your frustration. She reminds me a lot of my own mother, who I have often thought of as The Queen of the Guilt Trip. It took me until I moved far away from home to get out from under her thumb, and even so, it was sooooo easy to revert back to my old "submissive" behaviors every time that we talked on the phone or got together. I tell you this, so you know that I do understand kinda where you are coming from.

I think you know this, but I'm going to spell it out regardless. It boils down to the adage, You can't control how other people act, you can only control your reactions to them. In this case, it seems like your reaction in the past has been to "go along to get along" and to sacrifice your own best interests in endlessly seeking approval from W.

Luckily, your recipe for success fits in nicely with everything else you have already done to GAL and DB. Recognize that you do not need W's approval to be happy - instead, look inside yourself for approval, confidence and happiness. You are a terrific guy - stand on your own two feet and stop needing.

And the really good news is - a confident, strong person who doesn't need her approval to be happy - well, once she gets used to this change in you (and I do believe she will), she will find that the new you is a much more attractive and fun person to spend her life with!