When I first started to post my heart was racing, I could not breathe and every night I woke up in a cold sweat picturing the 2 of them together. But guess what....it stopped happening. Yep, it really did. Now, while it was going on I thought for sure that this pain was never going to end, that I was suffering more than everyone else because MY love with my H was real and pure and this kind of thing was not suppose to happen to US.
But the more distance I got from the situation, the easier it started to become. I think the problem you are having right now is 1) it is still very hard for you to emotionally distance yourself from your H. All this will acomplish is to allow him to have power over your emotions. Until you can let go and see that the sitch is what it is, you will still be carrying pain. 2) I think it is doubley hard on you because right now you are trapped in the house with H treating you like crap. Until you stand up for yourself (and it sounds like you did with the laundry incident) he will continue to keep treating you that way. People only do what works for them and if treating you like crap lets him cake eat then he will keep doing it. And finally 3) You sound very isolated. Im glad you have your cousin but maybe you could try and join some groups or something along those lines to meet other people and find a way to GAL. The first few times I went to a movie alone I felt so wierd. And then one day it did not bother me. I was there to enjoy myself just like everyone else, and then funny things is, I did enjoy myself.
I know this is hard. We are all going through a horrible time. But you have us and we are here to support you and comfort you and hit you with 2x4's and to listen when you need to let it out. As you can see we all care about you very much. And I think that is a h*ll of alot more support for you right now than what your H has. Try and take comfort in that if you can. Breathe, you will get through this. We all do eventually.
Hope that was not too harsh, just giving my $0.02 worth cause I care.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
