M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
When I first started to post my heart was racing, I could not breathe and every night I woke up in a cold sweat picturing the 2 of them together. But guess what....it stopped happening. Yep, it really did. Now, while it was going on I thought for sure that this pain was never going to end, that I was suffering more than everyone else because MY love with my H was real and pure and this kind of thing was not suppose to happen to US.
But the more distance I got from the situation, the easier it started to become. I think the problem you are having right now is 1) it is still very hard for you to emotionally distance yourself from your H. All this will acomplish is to allow him to have power over your emotions. Until you can let go and see that the sitch is what it is, you will still be carrying pain. 2) I think it is doubley hard on you because right now you are trapped in the house with H treating you like crap. Until you stand up for yourself (and it sounds like you did with the laundry incident) he will continue to keep treating you that way. People only do what works for them and if treating you like crap lets him cake eat then he will keep doing it. And finally 3) You sound very isolated. Im glad you have your cousin but maybe you could try and join some groups or something along those lines to meet other people and find a way to GAL. The first few times I went to a movie alone I felt so wierd. And then one day it did not bother me. I was there to enjoy myself just like everyone else, and then funny things is, I did enjoy myself.
I know this is hard. We are all going through a horrible time. But you have us and we are here to support you and comfort you and hit you with 2x4's and to listen when you need to let it out. As you can see we all care about you very much. And I think that is a h*ll of alot more support for you right now than what your H has. Try and take comfort in that if you can. Breathe, you will get through this. We all do eventually.
Hope that was not too harsh, just giving my $0.02 worth cause I care.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Thinking about you, Sara. You CAN be an independent woman. You may not want to be, but you will be. And all the much better for it in any future R's you get into. Whether with H or someone else.
I just think you H is such a goober. I can't put it any other way.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Hey Sara, just checking in on your post. I don't like doing things by myself either, Its weird I have four kids and I'm lonesome. I'll sit outside in the evening as the kids sleep and I'm lonesome.
There was a Jerry Seinfeld episode, about for every woman, we (the mens club) have a member on the case. I know its early, just don't dispare, your life is going to be great and the memories of this time will slowly fade away.
Just checking in on you
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
(((Starshyne)))keep doing things for and by yourself, it does get easier.
Hope your day is good. Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Hope you're OK. Just heard there's a lot of flooding going on possibly in your area. Let us know how you are... hopefully you're just stuck at your mom's and can't get online.
((((Sara))))
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
