infidelity

[hoosiermama]

Thanks. Really--thanks!!

What do they do to those guys in the seminary? Or are they already warped when they enter? I know so many guys who left, who are just lost boys--can't commit to anything or anyone except intellectually.

So--any tips for when we go to therapy? I have it on good authority that the MC we're going to see can see thru the BS. I'm no stranger to therapy, therapeutic language and theory myself, but I feel like I have to go in and set the tone. Something along the lines of--he has had significant personality changes over the past couple of months, sees things in absolutes, appears to need a change in every area of his life; I want to work on the marriage, but recognize that nothing can happen as long as there is an OW and recognize that he is unlikely to end that A to work on the marriage in the near future; I'm not interested in finding out how we got to this point but rather in finding solutions; I don't want a divorce and I think it's far too early in this crisis to make those kinds of plans.

I know I'm in for a long haul, and I am not sure I have the stamina for the fight. But one day at a time, get my life together and do what I need to do for D and myself.

I am also a little concerned about him still being highly recommended for the next step in priesthood formation; his discernment committee knows none of this, his pastor is aware (I've talked with him) and he's been told that none of this will stand in his way. Good grief--what if he murdered someone or something? Would that slow down the process? I know this is basically irrelevant right now to me, but still it makes me wonder about the integrity of the process.

Yes, the mini-marathon is a nice one. Glad you enjoyed it. Indy has come a long way in the past 20 years or so.

Good ideas about taking care of myself. Actually, I won a silent auction bid at our festival for a makeup lesson with THE makeup artist in the area. I've been intimidated about even walking into the place, but I've quit wearing makeup because my face is so different in the past 5 years! I know--weird, isn't it. The women will understand, guys think I'm nutty. But I'm not feeling especially attractive right now, and this is a good time for cashing in my gift card. My hair is so short that I don't think anyone could find any place to cut it, so I'll have to give that one some time. Considering a massage but funds are limited. Also thinking about decluttering my house and rearranging things to suit me; that could be therapeutic too.