He would be correct. You are trying to run his life.
Regarding the Father's day/Mother's day business, you are trying to seek emotional support and validation from him. You are imposing emotional ties on him. You were pissed because you didn't get what you want from him regarding personal/emotional contact. And, you aren't going to. Stick to business.
Regarding your kids interaction with GF, it is a matter for your L (if there is a legal agreement that excludes it) or the kid's C to address. If you must do something, call the C yourself.
As far as I can tell, XH agreed to listen to input from the C. He did not agree to run his choices by you or listen to your input.
And, if you can't say Hello without there being a big inner debate, well, that should tell you something. Don't say hello.
It is unfortunate that XH's parents are going with you to their grandson's function rather than with XH. This is not going to get you closer to your goal of setting and maintaining more appropriate boundaries with XH's parents.
