Separated, he filed, changed number

[Virtually_Handsome]

I don't think he messed it up on purpose, though you never know. More likely in the rush of emotion, he just messed it up.

Very few situations are hopeless. The trick right now is to remember that you can't control him, or "make" him do, or see anything. But you can control you, your life, and your actions. When he is ready to look, he will see an attractive person, that he might be willing to try to work on his relationship with.

I have a hard time believing he has no love left for you. But, I expect that he has buried it deeply, hiding it even from himself.

[cat03]

or just to show ow he was going to file, prob ow wants to know that he indeed is leg. separated.

And you are not annoying hon, lots of us burn rubber in our minds going around and around wondering what the heck got into our Ss to be acting this way, and why they are doing this and that, it baffles the mind!
What really matters here is why he file/didn't file, is what is going to happen next.

My instinct is to call him and let him know you've filed for CS, I don't see why you can't call him and remind him he has two children to provide for. If you decide to call call without anger nor raising hell (he'd just hang up). He does need to know that you are expecting him to provide for the children, what he's done is called abandonment, he can get in big trouble for that.
I know your want your H back, but right now you need to make sure he pays up, have you checked with the CS agency? what have they said?

I have a hard time believing he has no love left for you. But, I expect that he has buried it deeply, hiding it even from himself.

true. or due to MLC he has rewritten history and has plenty of excuses for what he has done.

[ms ladybug]

I still think ow did the paperwork, and had h sign it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just do. Maybe it was her comment in her profile about not sitting tight. I think that was why the mistakes.

He does need to pay for his kids. Enough of him hiding.

[beautyforashes]

thanks for everyone's insight.

Someone could actually FILE for someone else? Well, my attorney filed for me...so I guess so!

Yes, sometimes it drives me CRAZY trying to figure itout....but it's been a year and I can't let this craziness get in the way of taking care of myself and my children.

Oh child support will be served soon. I have to call back sometime next week to find out if there are any confirmations on the addresses I provided and whether they were able to contact his employer.

I'm planning to visit in October w/the kids...to go and see people from my home church. I've been debating on whether I should let someone on his side of the family know, then they can decide on whether to tell him or not or just whether they want to see the children or not.

A good friend of mine told me, whatever I do...I should make sure to always do the right thing. And to let them be aware we are there would be the right thing, wouldn't it?

[ms ladybug]

Anyone can file(as far as I know) as long as they have all the actual signatures.

His family definately needs to know you're going to be here. I'm sure they're dying to see those kids (unless the whole family went crazy). It would be best left up to them to let him know...I bet they would.

[jon2911]

beauty,
Here's my opinion, based on going through the same situation.

He's lazy, and filed just to prove something to OW. Most of our spouses on here have done similar things. I found an e-mail from W to OM saying "I filed, does that mean we can date now?" She never intended to really go through with it, and just let it expire after the 6 month time limit. Hang in there.

As for family, I wouldn't rock the boat unnecessarily. Don't they want to see their grandchildren though? Please keep hanging around and fill us in.

[cat03]

. I found an e-mail from W to OM saying "I filed, does that mean we can date now?"

oh yea. Stbx was googling on the net "fake divorce papers" just to show ow that he was intending to D or was D already.

I should let someone on his side of the family know, then they can decide on whether to tell him or not or just whether they want to see the children or not

yes, you leave it up to them if they want to keep a connection with the kids, no one will ever accuse you of stopping them from seeing the kids, doens't sound like they deserve it but you go ahead and take the high road.