Retrouvaille

[hoosiermama]

My H and I did retrouvaille about 8 years ago. It helped us, but not for long because he slipped back into old patterns and then I did too. It's a very intense experience and is helpful at breaking down walls. We also laughed that a part of the retrouvaille technique is to give you both a common enemy--the guy who rings the bell or knocks on the door at the end of every "sharing session" with your S to announce that time is over and it's time to come back together with the group for the next topic! They keep things moving, so that you have time to think/write, then discuss, but not spend undue amounts of time in any particular topic. We left feeling very close and it was great. We continued "dialoguing" for a few months, but then it felt that he was dialoguing "at" me and not listening at all. It also felt like I was the only one making real changes. So it's not a guarantee, but it's a darn good starting point. We weren't working thru a MLC at the time, but as we're in the midst of one now I have some perspective. I think it would be very helpful, and you just have to make a real commitment to continue the work when the weekend is over, and with the pain and confusion of a MLC that can be hard. However, whatever pain and confusion is caused by lack of communication in the relationship can be healed significantly during the weekend. Good luck with it; if she is open to it, there is a ton of hope.