WCW, no offense meant or taken. I just meant that I don't think she thinks in terms of the things I've sacrificed to be with her at all. The goalposts move. One of the things I've sacrificed is the chance to make love to any of those kinds of women, and yes, that includes women with small breasts. But no, I'm not looking for anything outside my marriage.
I think I'm a pretty good husband overall. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't gamble. I don't stay out late. I have a forge in the toolshed that hasn't seen a fire for three years now because I don't have time to do any metalwork anymore. I have fishing poles, but I don't go fishing. At most I take the family and bait hooks for the kids. I love to go shooting, and I haven't given up my gun club membership, but I haven't been shooting since November. I loved jiu-jitsu, but the classes were held an hour away on weekday evenings, and I just couldn't justify the time away from the family. When we got married, she'd never been allowed to choose her own car, so when we both got jobs, we went looking. She picked out a bright red Camaro with t-tops. I hated that car, but it was her dream car, so we got it. The idea was that soon we'd be able to get something else newer and it'd be my turn. But of course, when the boys came along, and then the baby, the Camaro wasn't cutting it for her and she now desperately wanted a mini-van. We went out and got the nicest one we could afford, and she was in love with it from the start . . . but guess what I drive? To her credit, she says we're going to work on getting the car I want this summer and getting rid of the Camaro, but so far every time there's a car I want to look at, it's a bad time. I'm not asking for a huge commitment here. I'm talking about a specific brand and model of used car that goes for about $2500; we can afford to pay cash for it. And it's not that she's against it, or she's saying "no." She just seems to think it doesn't matter one way or the other.
I don't know what to think. She says the introduction to the SSM book made her cry, so maybe it meant something to her. But I've often felt, maybe unfairly, that she cries when I bring up sex partly because it shuts me down. Sometimes I just push through and continue the conversation, but oftentimes I just can't.
