I am slowly coming to the realization that if I were to set two goals (i) make enough money to buy a yacht on the Mediterranean and (ii) place myself in a social environment where there is a remote possibility of meeting a potential date - I am more like to make goal (i) over goal (ii).
Goal (i) is easier b/c there is no risk - and I am not all that attached to the idea of a yacht anyway. Work goals are like a game to me.
Goal (ii) involves putting myself out on a limb - expanding the envelope of my comfort zone.
I will always have enough things on my "to do" list to justify avoiding (ii).
Now that being said, I know my standards for (ii) are high. Ironically my inflexible non-negotiable standard that a man my age be legally D significantly reduces the number of available men. Many people get on their high horse when a WAS declares themselves to be emotionally D while legally M - and the LBS reaches a point where they are emotionally D and the legal D is treated like a semantic. Then it becomes "well he/she did it first - so they are more wrong than me." And that may fly with many if not most people - but it does not work for me. I do actually expect a lot of people - but no more than I demand of myself. And I myself dated an emotionally D person within months of my legal D when I was a member of the walking wounded - and have learned from that experience.
Perhaps this is an anti-X requirement in that The X while he didn't cheat on me or if he did I don't know about it. But he was all about "instant gratification." And well that created conflict in my M. He liked nice things and wanted them NOW. I like nice things but wait till I can afford them.
I am putting myself out there more by going to seminars for social reasons. The people there are a little more driven and self disciplined. At the seminar - the gym was packed at the hotel at 6:30 in the morning. And some people left for an hour to finish work. Those are the kind of people that are a good fit for me.
I am also going to participate in the political fun stuff - not to change the world - but to get involved in the social scene. I want to go more the fundraisers - as opposed to the "passionate" ones that are out to change the world. I am an Obama supporter - and those that support him - well there is a like-minded element there. And as cynical as I have become - there is something about him that moves me....
I shook his hand the day the election results were finalized roughly 4 years ago... I was devastated and went into work late. As I exited the train station, he happened to be at the exit and was shaking everyone's hand and thanking them for their vote. He had won - there was no PR reason for him to be there. He made eye contact, firm handshake and said "thank you for your vote." A reporter was standing there and asked me what I thought. I was so shocked - that I barely stuttered out the words "Hope..." And now well - I am afraid to hope b/c politics are so ugly these days... But maybe it is time to take a baby step back towards believing in something that may be greater...
In any case, the past eight years are coming to an end. No matter who wins - it will be different. While I may have different views that some, I have a deep sense of respect for Obama, Clinton and McCain. As I talk to friends - both Republican and Democrat - we all feel a deep sense or relief that those eight years are ending... It has been a very very very long eight years.
