ms ladybug SQUISHED!

[jon2911]

ms b,
A lot of the advice from Divorce Busting/Divorce Remedy is key here.

I'll have to go back and read, but I remember her reason for completely avoiding "I love you" was something like this:

He doesn't love you right now. The feelings are there, but he's trying to bury them. So, when you say ILU, all you're doing is reminding him that he doesn't feel that way right now. And all the ways you didn't appreciate it when he did, you didn't listen until it was too late, etc. etc. etc.

Is he right to feel that way? No. But the fact is that the more you're needy and seek out this "connection", the more it will push him away.

Once upon a time he was in love with you, and chose to marry you. Right now he doesn't want to remember that, but wants to run to his new motorcycle, probably OW (sure sounds like it), all the typical Mid-life Crisis stuff. You're better than all of that, but he needs time to figure that out. He needs to choose you all over again. But think about how great it will be if he does.

I know this goes so much against what comes natural. I think that's the most painful thing about this. All the things that would have worked a year ago, ILU's, gifts, letters, none of that will work with my W right now. This sucks. I can't stop thinking about all the things I didn't do when I had a chance.

My biggest advice here is: lower your expectations. You're getting to spend a lot of time with him, finances are still together, you're a LONG way from divorced. Just don't expect him to treat you like he did before, for now.