How do I stop obsessing

[lynn97]

So I won't repeat the whole story, but basically my wife and I are now separated. She says it's so she can work on herself and be more independent. Unfortunately there is also an EA going on with on of my good friends. She says it's just good friends and they are helping each other through this rough time, but I just can't let myself believe that.

My question is how do I stop obsessing about it? Since we're separated I can't talk to her about it. I know if I call him and tell him to knock it off it will only push her farther away. I'm stuck and don't know what to do. In the end I know this is only hurting me but I can't stop doing it.

I just paid her phone bill and can clearly see that she has been talking and texting him so much that she has blown through all of her minutes, and mine (shared plan). She doesn't have anyone else to talk to but her mother so I could see where she needs friends, but this seems like over the top. Even her counselor said that if she wants to focus on herself she shouldn't start running to him, but she is. Should I just accept that it is an affair and move on? Should I try to stop it?

I know I need to LRT and start focusing on myself, I just don't know how.

Lynn