Theoretically, those are all great suggestions, but my experience has been -- both in my own life and having spent several years on the SSM boards -- that backing off will only lead our poor Silly Old Bear to even LESS nookie.
Most LD/ND women, when their HD husbands pressure them, feel "pressure." And most LD/ND women, when their HD husbands DON'T pressure them, report feeling "pressure, because I know that he wants it, and he's disappointed in me at the moment."
And in most cases, the LD/ND spouse will report RELIEF that the higher-drive spouse has backed off, and sometimes they'll even say things like "See? Isn't this nice? Why can't you be like this all the time? If you'd just stop thinking about SEX all the time, we could have a MUCH happier marriage!"
The problems are much more complex than having the high-drive husband woo the low-drive wife, unfortunately, as Michele so brilliantly documents in her "Sex-Starved Marriage" book.
I wish I had some answers for you, Bear. And there's CERTAINLY nothing wrong with trying some of these suggestions. But I'd only suggest them if you feel like doing them because these are some of the right things to do to honor and cherish your wife ANYWAY ... NOT because you think they will lead to more sex. The ball, ultimately, is in HER court, and until she's willing to do some serious work to try to restore her desire, the odds are long ones.
