Clear out, clean up and make your bedroom a sanctuary. Clutter builds on depression. Make your bedroom the number one priority.
Mom's will sacrifice (without even knowing it) everything for their kids and spouse.. especially when depressed. She doesn't know how to put herself first, or her way of doing it is minimal.
Do a 180.. put something she doesn't feel she deserves first. If you or both of you can't renovate the room, at least clear out the stuff that doesn't belong there. Make it a place of calm. When my husband and I would work on something together, I always felt better, even though I'd be so garbled in my self defensive communication.
The book "His Needs, Her Needs" would be a good read. One point.. giving your wife affection is a basic need women have which leads to the EVENT of sex.
Be nice to her, a touch here and there.. a look when things are wild. Seduce her. The most compelling seduction starts well in advance.. that morning, the day before the 'event'. If she's so tied up emotionally, those knots need to be loosened, gently. And it's easy to do... just be nice, smile... give a hug, do a chore, play with her hair. Don't expect results because well.. you'd just look like a panting hound dog.
Your seduction induces her brain to calm, her body to relax. As much as Mr. Weiner Pecker wants to go a visitin', put him aside. Give her comfort, give her closeness, give her intimacy without the 'threat' of sex. The more relaxed she is, the more you both gain because it opens both of you to each other.
