ms ladybug SQUISHED!

[ms ladybug]

Today was hard. Being Father's Day and all. H and his parents and the kids and I had lunch at a Japanese Restaurant. When I first arrived, h hadn't gotten there yet and I ordered an iced tea for him. Then, I remebered something I'd left in the car. H pulls up while I was walking back to the restaurant, so I waited in the parking lot. He walks up to me and says, "why are you waiting for me?" Well, I thought it'd be rude to just walk on in after seeing him. He didn't know where we were sitting, etc... So, I just replied, "I just thought I'd wait. Happy Father's Day." We had a good lunch. It was pleasant enough. He opened his presents. I made a collage of pictures of the kids for him. TEMPTED, so tempted to stick in a family picture of all of us, but I resisted. I think he really liked the gift. The kids also made cards for him and we had another gift that he'd wanted from the Harley store. As he was leaving, I was still sitting down with the bill. I was holding s2 who slept through the whole dinner, and h leaned into kiss him goodbye. So, I looked up and again said, "happy Father's Day." He said thanks and patted my head.
He patted my head! What the heck is that??

Then, I took the kids out to my dads house. He stayed only a couple hours and then left. As soon as I got on the road, again the tears came and I cried all the way home.

I just hate this! I hate that on Father's Day, I can't connect.

I want so badly just to send him a text message that says "I enjoyed lunch today. Thanks for being an awesome dad."

Would that be bad??