Okay so I didn't let him come, but during the movie my 5 yr old stepdaughter turns to me and says "daddy is with Andrea" (this is the girl I suspected he had an affair with). I said oh yeah? She told me they were talking and talk on the weekends, but she said they haven't met. I went to drop her off and asked her to go in the house. I told him and asked him if they were together, he looked at me and said no and said he didn't know where that came from. I was furious and I don't know what to belive. We started texting back and forth after about the situation and then I finally cut if off and said lets just put today behind us and move forward, but i don't know if I can. I am so tired of his crap and I don't know what to believe anymore. This girl works with him and yes I have always suspected it but he does talk to her a lot on the phone. I am so confused as to what is real.
It is hard in your sitch. The thought of another person interfering in your M is sometimes more than any single person should have to bear.
I don't know that I can offer any advice in this arena, except to say that these types of sitch's seem to work themselves out. It sounds strange, I know, but all I know is that when my H and I split, there was an OW. When I left the house, I think she thought that they were instantly going to both get divorced and live happily ever after. But in the process she made one fatal error, and that is she threw the A very passively aggressively in my face, and that ended pretty fast.
I think that I will defer to a wise friend who told me, give them enough rope, and they will hang themselves.
And, without sounding like a religious nut, believe in a higher power. Whatever your belief is, find solace and faith in it. Once I gave control to a higher power, my load became lighter, and I had an easier time having faith and seeing that God (or Allah, Zeus, Buddah, or whatever you choose to call Him) presents the opportunity for everything. If we push it the wrong way, then the opportunity fades. If we just go with the flow, everything falls nicely into place.
(((Feeling)))
I am sorry you are going through this, and I know this is one of the most painful things you can go through. Just remember to breath.
Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Does anyone know how long affairs usually last after the breakup, and once they are over does the person having the affair usually try and get back what they had. Do they realize at some point what they gave up? I mean if he begged I don't think I would take him back unless he proved it over and over how sorry he was. My is spinning right now and I am replaying things in my head. I don't know what to believe anymore.
I don't think there is a sure fire time limit. Sometimes it happpens right away, and others...
I believe that the thing to remember is that right now, you have to concentrate on you. When it is early and you are in the midst of the pain, this sounds like the dumbest thing. I remember thinking work on me? Its not my fault!!! He had an OW!!!
Then I started realizing that working on myself killed two birds with one stone., It made me more positive and attractive to my H, and also made me feel better.
If you need to, get a C. I love mine, and even though I have only been seeing her for five or six weeks, the difference is tremendous.
Find faith. It's hard to let go and let God, but it is the best thing you can do. I pray that God controls my heart and if I am supposed to still love my H, then okay, but if I am not, to please take the burden from me. Guess what? I still love him.
Regardless of what the future brings, sometimes little steps help in making you feel better, and ultimately, that is the goal.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hearing that from your stepdaughter must have been really painful. It is hard to imagine how you could react to something like that. It is horrible not knowing what is real and what isn't. I found out about my h's potential ea via facebook while I was on my own traveling in Kuala Lumpur. As your h has not confirmed it try not to torture yourself with it. I get angry but try to distract myself as it is not my main focus. My main focus used to be my marriage, then it was him and now it is me.
If I look deep in my heart I do think that my h is having an ea (which is intensely hurtful) but I doubt it is reciprocated as he is not really an eligible bachelor at the moment (as much as he would like to think it!). Most people don't like to start a new relationship with a lot of baggage and your h has that at the moment. Even if your h is having an affair it likely as not won't last that long. It is the hardest thing but try not to think about it, concentrate on your relationship with your h and your relationship with yourself at the moment.
