Thanks, Evie. More than you know. I will take your words to heart.
I am trying think more positive thoughts - surround myself with healing and kindness. I did have one DB Coach session and she said that 95% of DB is abt yourself - I wrote "attraction energy" in my notes. I just don't seem to be able to get that part of myself in gear and find that strong woman I always thought I was. I used to be feisty.
One thing that I just can't deal with is leaving things "broken" and unresolved. I always want to fix things and make them better. H's way of stuffing problems down and walking away from them drives me crazy. I'm sure my way of confrontation is equally difficult for him. But, we've done this his way for a year now and I've been silenced for too long. I've started a letter to him. It's not a pursuing letter, but I will say that I remain committed to M and to him. It's not a "mea culpa" letter, but the main point of it will be to say the things I am sorry for. I need to do that. I can't have regret hanging over me. I'm not going to take all of the blame, but I am going to take my share of responsibility for how things are. I am going to work on it this week and discuss with C, but I am pretty sure that I am going to send it to him. I think I just have to for my own "peace of mind". And, really, what have I got to lose?
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
