He left then Cheated ---Now What???

[No Longer BH]

So I just got back from a weekend back with my friends. It was what I needed to help get me out of my funk. I had a chance to laugh, cry, be angry and be thoughtful. Friday night I went with my friend to a bunko party (never even heard of it before that night). While there I met a woman who had gone through the same thing I am going through 3 years ago. SHe said her H told her all of the typical lines - in love with OW, wanted a D, made her feel like she was nothing. THen about a year in a half after bomb he started to change. Saw that he didnt want OW, saw he missed his family and wanted to come back. They started therapy again and are now better off than ever. It was a sign I needed to hear.

I went out Friday and bought myself a new really cute outfit so that I would have a little more confidence when I saw H today. When I dropped my S off this mornig, H would not even look at me. He was still just dripping in anger. Later in the afternoon when I went to get my S to bring him home, I gave H some of his favorite chocolate and said "happy f-day". He wanted to know about when S therapy was scheduled and I told him it is in July. He then had a very defensive stance and I asked what was wrong. He said "How am I suppose to participate when you are all the way up there and I am down here? You need to move back here because S needs his F while he is in thereapy!"

I said that yes he does need his F but I was standing firm with my desicion. We were not going to move back there unless H wanted to go to MC becasue there was nothing there for me. And since I am the primary care taker I need to be in the best place possible. I then slipped and said "It's a shame that you just cant even bring it to your heart to fight to make things better for your family." His reply was that WE didnt need to work on things, that there were other ways to make his S better. <sigh> At that point I said just send me an email with your ideas for visitation and we will go over it - yep, he still has not done that, surprise, surprise.

Anyway, it still was a really good weekend and I'm glad I went. Even though I still get sad at times, I can feel that I am able to detach more and more. His words and anger are no longer getting to me like they used to. Still wish he would just wake up but that is his journey.