infidelity

[hoosiermama]

Thanks. Daughter is 12--really bad age for all of this, I think (not that there's a good one, of course).

He's consistently denied that there's an affair, even an emotional one except during the first week of our separation. However, I know otherwise and he's certainly behaving otherwise.

I'm new at this, and it's all a little confusing. How do I know when dropping the rope is a good idea and when doing a 180 and being a good listener is a good idea? I don't call him (except to find out when he's picking up D, specific questions related to that). With the MC, I have pushed so hard for it (earlier, before I caught on fully to DBing), and I'm fairly sure that the MC will be the one to tell him that MC is a waste of time when there's a 3rd person--that way he can't lay the blame on me (I'm to blame for everything else in the world, of course). Definitely no more contact with OW--it was something I did to empower myself, and I think it was effective in doing so. But it was a one-shot thing.

I am surprised that my sil has cut me off. Her husband doing so is not such a surprise, but I thought she knew me better than that. My contact with her through this has been by email.

I've been trying to be selfish, and I know I'm coming across as detached and that he's noticed. I have a long way to go on that, of course, but it's only been a few weeks. I know this will take a long time to resolve either way.