First of all thank you Michelle for a great book – SSM. It gives me renewed hope. I am the HD husband of what has turned into a SSM over the last 30 years. I have often thought that our problem might be hormonal since our situation has gotten worse over the last 5-6 years as my wife has gone thru menopause. We did have more sex earlier in our marriage, but it has never been a passionate thing for her. I understand from the readings such as “I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Know About Improving Her Libido” by Reichman, that low testosterone level could be a part of the problem.
My wife has always avoided talking with me about sex – makes here very uncomfortable she says – and so for me to ask her to see her doctor about this is way out of the question. Trying to talk to her about it has been the cause of many fights and cold nights. My question is this: Would it be wrong for to call me her doctor and ask the doctor to run a testosterone test during my wife’s next physical without my wife knowing that I had done this. I would like to ask the doctor to keep it quiet about my asking her to do this, but if the doctor did do it and find that the level was low, then maybe my wife would be open to the doctor’s suggestion. (She is going to her physical within the next two weeks).
