Sounds like a good plan - my advice is that you make your own plans (b'day and otherwise) and have NO expectations.

"my pace, my rules" - does that mean that she has told you that she wants to do all of the initiating and that any contact initiated by you will be unwelcome? Or, are you getting a mixed message there Does she want you to pay some attention to her, just on her terms - like not at her workplace or when there is some other "audience".

me: 47
H: 48
he has 2 grown sons
M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd)
hit iceberg 6/07
S 9/26/07
before
now