Been waiting for what seemed like ages for you to post...and then you do it on a day I am laid up in bed with the mother of all migraines!!!!
Good for you guys!!!!
(Bet you won't shovel snow too many times before your H thinks getting a snow blower is a good idea!!!!)
Look forward to hearing from you and keep up the good work - both of you!!!
I know what you mean about the 'doing' things at home thingy as well. My H lost interest when he was having his A and is now back in full swing!!! I just had my head so stuck up my own a$$ I never noticed!!! I have never been the most observant about things like that though!LOL
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
saffie, hope you are feeling much better! yuck on the migraines.
hey all,
just wanted to update. things are going really well here. h had a consult last week with his IC and an appt today...fingers crossed its a good fit. based on his conv last week it sounds like it will be. the guy is even a dad of twins, so understands that dynamic. I am continuing my own IC as well.
the one thing we haven't done is start MC yet. I would still like to, but honestly things are going really well so far even without it. we are breaking patterns right and left, telling each other our needs, listening to the others person's needs, striking middle ground when needed. we have definitely improved our commincation 10-fold. one of my favorite things is something my friend (the therapist, not my therapist) suggested which was to think about the silver linings from separation and see if those can be incorporated into our marriage. h and I talked a bit about it, would like us to talk some more about it/make a list of them.
just feeling really good about things right now. my only regret? spending time on a date with h seeing indiana jones last weekend. um, really? that's what they did with that? soooo disappointing.
still amazed that we ended up here. even more amazed that its been a month now. wow.
one of the nicest things is that every time I used to get an email from him I would literally feel sick/catch my breath as I opened it. now I get emails that are sweet, full of fun plans/ideas. love that. I realized the other day that I no longer felt my stomach clench when I saw his name in my inbox and I actually started crying. bawling like a baby in fact. think I'm done waiting for that shoe to drop finally...doesn't seem like its going to.
granted, it still could, and I still know I'll be okay if it does. but damn, I am loving that it seems to be all systems go on our R instead.
Last edited by SallyM; 06/12/0812:13 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
What an amazing turn your sitch has taken. Of course I think that your husband would be crazy to walk but it's nice to see that he seems to re-thought his decisions, and you have to hand it to him, he seems to be doing all the right things. Actually, I think he seems pretty determined. I'm so happy for you!
You're right though. If things happen, and it doesn't work, you will be just fine. You are nowhere near the person you were when you started on this road.
Sounds great :-) Two bits of advice for going forward:
(1) Decide now that you can accept any secrets from the past, even if H isn't strong enough to share them with you yet. Let you both have a clean slate.
(2) Pay attention to how your detachment and independence have made room for a much richer form of intimacy. These are both things that really make space for you to genuinely care about, understand, appreciate, and respect each other. It seems you are finding that out :-D
It's amazing how your situation has turned around so dramatically. Knowing you though, I knew he would have to follow his better sense sooner or later. He's a very fortunate Man to have somebody like you.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Boy, it's been a really, really long time since I've posted on one of your threads. I had read one of Saffie's posts on another thread saying how happy she was for Husband, Yoyo and you. I just sat here for the past couple of hours and caught up on you. I couldn't stop reading. I had to wipe away some tears. I'm so incredibly happy for you. As I read everything, I kept thinking about so many of the things that you posted when I first came on the board. You've come such a long way. I'm so happy for you and your kids. I hope things continue to just get better and better. You certainly deserve it.
Have a good day!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
After being away for a couple weeks, I was so hoping I would come back to check on you and read just what I've read... how wonderful for you (and your sweet family) to be able to reap the benefits of all the hard work you have done...and how truly wonderful that H really seems to be in there working hard, too!!
I wanted you to know that I really appreciate you continuing to share with us in your experience...
