I guess I AM discouraged. Getting out only does so much, though each time it gets a little better. Discovered an incredible nursery today - I was a little bit overwhelmed. Never made it out of the daisy/sunflower section.
I did write a letter awhile ago - posted it somewhere on my thread. I think it was right after she asked me to wait 6 months so she could try R with OM. Never sent it - it's still folded up and stuck in my journal.
I guess the things I want her to hear are all physical. I know how to make her feel special and how to make her feel like she can rise above the daily turmoil to a better place. But that's what she's battling and that's why I'm discouraged. It's physical, so we have to do something together. All along she's refused. Since last October she's only agreed to do 1 activity together - go skate skiing at Tahoe. It was fun, but when I later got the cell phone bill, I saw she'd called OM before she was even out of the parking lot. The communication is all there - it's a strong, almost opaque connection. What's lacking is the involvement in each other's lives. When I stressed this, she said she couldn't work on things with conditions, meaning she refused to stop seeing OM (who's involved in her Phd), and she only wanted to focus on her own life - she didn't want anyone depending on her for anything. And to answer your question, I want her to hear my side because I think she made a decision under maximum stress & emotional upheaval & as that settles I'd like to remind her that things don't have to stay the same. We aren't stuck in the past unless we choose to be.
I hope she comes back to an understanding of why compromise is needed in any relationship. Did we ever have this, though? I'm not sure. But why am I selling myself short by being willing to put up with this? Would you? Would she? I think the answer is no. She's selfish and can't make a relationship/marriage a priority.
Richard Bach - I haven't read him for years - Illusions was what I read.
Have we known each other only a few days?! So strange - never thought I'd be connecting with faceless people online...
Thanks for your thoughts and your insight, bridgestone. Your grandmother is right - there is a lid for every pot, even if it's a plate.
