I don't blame you at all for how you feel. My sadness has been replaced by anger. No uncontrollable anger or rage, but anger that makes me pity my W., and hold yer responsible for the destruction of my family. Did I do evertything perfectly? No. Did my family deserve this over something like "empty love tanks"? Who knows. I think not. The anger is more of a smoldering resolve to not act or accept being treated like an unwanted pet. You sound as good as you can!
