It's crushing when then walk out, sorry you are going through this.
Don't think aloof is where to aim, more like lovingly withdraw. You can only help if she wants you to help and if right now she doesn't, its really important to respect that.
I think the general consenseus is that R talk is to avoided unless she brings it up, if she does and I can't understate how vital this is..listen and validate..do not try to fix or make excuses.
Unless your are one of the lucky few that gets a quick turnaround , this will most probably take a while, buckle up and use this time to improve yourself and your life.
One final tip, when you do see her make an effort to push one of her postive buttons each and every time - comment on her hair, her clothes or whatever you know works.
