While it may be part of his nature/drive, given his sexual abuse history, he's wrong about not being able to change. His desires & behavior can be changed, if he's willing to do the hard work to make it so and seek professional help.
You've entered into an area that I will not even attempt to give advice in, although I'll continue to monitor what happens.
Best of luck to you: I hope the silver lining shows up for you soon.
Take care,
Bagheera
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
