For the first time, I got an honest answer from him. He never ever tells me what the problem is, or how he's feeling, etc... he just usually blasts me with some blame, so I'm always left with a spinning head. He said he doesn't want to see me or be anywhere near me right now. Which I completely understand, but what's puzzling to me is that he says and I quote "You have made me feel like I cannot trust or love you anymore." I don't understand why he doesn't trust me... I haven't taken any of his things, I wasn't the one that came screaming at him. I didn't tell him that he was a horrible person, or a horrible father, or any of the things that he has said to me. I didn't attack his integrity as a person. So, that one stumps me.
I just told him that I was sorry he felt that way. He doesn't have to see me. I just contacted him because I just want to get my things.
I really feel perplexed about this. I feel sorry for him. He's so angry. I was just hoping he would be reasonable about letting me come to the house and get my own things without making it so damn difficult. Now, unfortunately, whatever he 'gets' for me won't be half of what I need because I'm a visual person and I can't list things off my head. I see what I need... oh yes, I need this, I need that, etc.
So damn frustrating, that's what it is. Stupid, stupid, stupid power struggle.
Sigh, yes, of course I will play it his way, as usual. I have no idea what I'm going to get, probably everything and I don't even know why I even bother to try. Because I know I love him. But everyone wonders why do I love him. I see his pain, I feel it. I know it's not really me, but it's certainly directed to me and right now, he believes it is me.
