hopeful - yes I absolutely would wish for another chance to do it right.
However, I don't know if maybe he and I would end up divorced anyway. I will never know that answer. Would we have just cut our losses sooner, or did we really have the kind of love that could have forged forward? I cheated myself out of finding out that answer. I still wish I knew the answer though, because I did fail myself by not living with integrity and doing the right thing. I have - only in the past 5 years or so - finally learned how to live with integrity (or at least always striving for it above all) - and being that I didn't know how to do that when I was younger, I needed help with depression, etc...well, I dont know if I would have been emotionally mature enough to really commit myself to the effort required to make a marriage work. I was very damaged, needless to say, and couldn't really "get" things, you know? So yes, I wish for the second chance, but I know that my younger self still might have blown it somehow. I was so clueless.
