Heres my update. "date" with H went really well. If I could describe it in one word it would be 'comfortable'. He rang to say he would be late but arrived early - but that was the only sign that he showed of being nervous. i told him he looked great and asked if he had lost weight - he didn't comment on how I looked, but obviously the weight thing was good, because later on he told me how much weight he thought he had put on and how he was dieting. I assured him that he looked great and didnt need to worry. The jazz club was perfect because we didnt have to talk that much - its more like you are supposed to sit, listen and appreciate the music. And when we did talk we had to really lean in close and speak into each other's ear. I noticed that I quite naturally touched him on the arm etc a few times - and he didn't shrink away or look surprised. It all just felt really normal. We shared our food like we were an old married couple! We also laughed lots and quite a lot of eye contact (I made sure I looked him dead in the eye, instead of looking away). I also managed to bring up a few things to remind him of good times we had shared together. It was nice for me, and I hope for him.
It was quite a long night - 7 till 11pm, so I'm pleased that we were able to spend that amount of time together. He could have left, but he stayed till the end, and then asked for a lift closer into town so he could catch a cab. He said that he enjoyed the night (not really thanking me, or saying that he enjoyed seeing me, but saying that the music and venue was cool) and that he would see me around. So I guess there are tiny little baby steps in there.
The best part for me was that I felt really detached and unemotional about it - while I was with him and afterwards. I know I could fall back in love with him, but I also know I could move on with no regrets too. There weren't any sparks on my behalf, but there wasn't any awful tension either.
So my plan is now to wait and see what happens. I hope that it will make him miss me, and feel like I'm approachable. We will see what happens with the bathroom rennovations - I'm going to monitor if he's stepping up contact or withdrawing.
If nothing else we are just great friends and we have a great shared history and its nice to be able to maintain that even in the midst of separation and possible divorce.
(((Lisa, Kalni, T, Ali))) I was thinking of you girls when I was with H.
