I did the snooping thing too in the beginning...that's how I found out a lot of things...I don't anymore because is does hurt you more than them cause they don't care...
When I was snooping one day I found a laminated page that my H used to carry around with all our pictures in it and he had cut me out of the picture....broke my heart....and his response. "well you shouldn't have been snooping"...and it goes on...I found out way too much...more than I wanted to...so as far as snooping I haven't done that in a very long time....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
YR how do you handle the oldness. Treese is right this gets old. My h is so predictable that I have lost interest. How do you try to stay connected with someone who isn't there for you?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Well I snooped until he locked the guest bedroom door! LOL
But by then I had found out everything I needed to know. Also my L told me to get all the info I could in case we went to court. I even got the airlines to tell me his conformation number & would pull it up on line & get his flight info. Like I said before I became a pretty good PI but he was lying so much & being so deceitful, he was bad!!
I also had to keep quite! I found out about OW on Sept. 26th & H found out he got busted on Nov.1st. So many times when we were talking, arguing or mostly him telling me what a bad person I was or whatever, I wanted to say something about OW but I didn't. He was trying to tell me all the things he was divorcing me for but none of it made any sense, there was no real reason. Anyway all that he said was petty & could have been worked out, but he was involved with OW & that was the real reason he wanted out.
I just couldn't believe all the things he was saying, it hurt me so BAD!!!!
That is when I detached the best. I could let it go. I didn't think of him night and day. I still loved him but you get to a point where it is just better to let them spin by themselves and if they decided to spin back home then things get interesting! It does get stagnet after a while. But they are still processing everything.
As you pull back from it all you even question yourself, "why the heck am I still hanging on." Let me tell you in my sitch it was well worth it.
HeeHee. You just brought back memories of my snooping! My H even asked me if I hired a PI because I knew so much!! I never got into his phone because it was glued to his hip at all times. Yes, I hated that phone! I found out the name of the OW and he was shocked when I confronted him with it. I have many friends and they like to talk. Even my S told me things. But you know what, my gut gave me the best information of all. I always go with my gut feelings.
Get out and GAL!!!! I went to clubs with my S and his friends and had a blast! I hadn't done that with my H for many. many years. I went to the movies with friends. Me and my D went shopping alot. I just let my H go and off I went!!!! It felt good!!!!!
I did hire a PI but they couldn't find out anything b/c OW was in TX & at the time I didn't know about her. While he was out mowing the yard one day, I figured out how to use his phone & that's how I discovered OW. Then every morning while he was in the shower I would go into his room & look at the phone. It was pretty scary at first but I became pretty good at it (I might have to change my profession)LOL. But that's how I found out that he thought his lawyer was on my side! Also found out about his job interview in TX & also when he would take vacation days.
My H did ask me if I hired a PI, I never told him b/c they really didn't do anything except run a report on this OW (that's how I found out she had been married at least 3 times) I just told him I did my homework. That was the night he cussed me out so he didn't go any further with that question.
I threatened to call the police on him that night b/c he was ranting & raving so much. My L told me if he did that I could call the police, my H said it would be his word against mine then he asked if I had the house bugged. Well, no I didn't but I did have a tape recorder on me. I was bad too, I guess! But at the time I really just had to look after me. My lawyer kept telling me that he had done me so dirty, he hadn't seen anyone do exactly like he had done before & he has been a lawyer for 50 years. Him & his paralegal both told me they thought he would call me back but not to take him back. They just don't know how I feel about him, well they do sort of b/c everytime I was in their office I was crying. I cried the day they were all celebrating that we had won, I didn't feel like I had won anything.
I'm so happy that your sitch turned out the way it did as I hope mine does too!!!! He once was such a loving, romantic, kind & caring person, with moral values. I hope that man will come back some day soon.
