Need to think (and get ready for a 2:00 meeting). I'll respond to this later.
Good luck tonight! His response doesn't surprise me. It isn't very caring, nor does he appreciate the pain you're in. But he is hurting. He just doesn't understand the bigger picture. And I KNOW that's a crappy position for you to be in, because you're taking it all on and getting no respite.
How anger issues add into all this, I don't know - have never had to deal with that before.
I guess, focus on having a good time. Avoid R talk. Avoid anything unpleasant. Just say you want some time to make sure you two appreciate each other. I use the word "appreciate" because my W would say the same thing to me but use the word "understand" or "say the right thing," which comes across to someone on the defensive as negative.
