Impossible situation??

[happycamper]

Thanks DQ

I think when he initially told me he was unhappy it was like a bolt out of the blue. I didn't understand at all. He seemed to give alot of reasons and we never seemed to get to the bottom of it. At that point I thought he was just having a MLC, I couldn't believe he was prepared to walk out on us.

More recently the sex/abuse/10 years stuff has come to the fore, and obviously I can see clearly the part I played. I think I can feel more empathy for him knowing how he has suffered. Yesterday NTE and Bagheera gave me a unique perspective on what it is like to be a man in our situation. Today you have helped me to understand the abuse facet of it.

Mostly when other people have asked me what is going on and I have told them a summary (mainly because I am sobbing in the corner of the toddler group) I have said our marriage is in difficulty, some of it my personality, some of it his, some of it our own behaviour, some unfortunate circumstances.

I do accept responsibility for my stuff - I think this is why my post here is mostly about my behaviour because I wanted to look at that in isolation. If I had been different in the early days, maybe the rest wouldn't have been history (or maybe it would!).

Thanks very much for sharing your personal story and that of your precious child. It does help me to see him in a different light.