The Ultimatum

[fooled again]

Jack,

Throwing out my evidence...it was scary, it really was, here was the stuff that helped me focus my anger, a part of my past history the REASONS for everything...It was a crutch, getting rid of them was liberating, even though it scared me to do so.

I did read your post about you "getting rid of your evidence". It moved me beyond description, since I have held on to my evidence all along, and I understand the twisted sense of security that evidence gives us. I still have the original emails I discovered nearly 2 years ago. This is one of the reasons I want to get this meeting w/ OW over w/ asap - I want him to purge himself of her and her stuff, some of which was her mother's (who passed away last year) which she brought over to his place to make her feel comfortable there. Even last night when I was there, I saw a hair clip that is not mine sitting way off in a corner on a side table.

I honestly don't know what "trophies" he has after 2 1/2 yrs, but I imagine there are clothes, nick nacks, pictures, books, and so on. I think it may take some time for him to get rid of it all - they didn't live together, but she did make herself at home at his place. But you are right, this is something we need to do.

I was thinking maybe we could spend time together while he is packing things up, and have a box that we can put things in that have to do w/ her and I could add my "evidence". Then we could have a ceremony, maybe when we are camping together, and burn all of those things as a final cleansing of our relationship.

But we have to cross that bridge when we get to it. First, he has to give his notice and set up the meeting w/ OW and take the steps I need to move forward w/ him.

FA