When I ask him for this and he is in, what he calls, his 'good place'. I get sweet, caring, gentle postive affirmation for my needs being met. That gives me hope.
In the middle of an argument it is difficult.
If I call him on it, doing what he promised he wouldn't do, it is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
I know now, after talking with him about his reaction (gasoline on a fire) is that it is about him being angry with himself for letting me down, for failing to do as he said he would.
But the anger ends up directed at me, not at him.
Just thinking about it is enough for me to want to throw up my hands and say I give up.
However, I did call him over lunch and apologize. I told him I had more to say and an empathetic request to make of him when I apologize in the future.
He accepted my apology and said he would like to hear what that was. He was distant, cool & did not apologize for any of his words or actions. That stings, I guess I can not make him to that any more than I can make him understand.
I told him I wanted to do this face-to-face and that it needed more time than the 3 minutes he had before he needed to go rushing back to work.
We are to go together to a friends birthday party tonight. I'm still on eggshells and feeling protective of 'me' since our argument yesterday.
I hope I can keep that 'edginess' from showing tonight. I want to have a good time... there's been too much loss & grief lately around here, recently & over time not to.
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
