It sounds like you've been through a longhaul, and I'm sure it hasn't been easy. I commend you on your heart, and your committment. Hang on to hope, and your belief in what you're doing, because it is worthwhile, even when we don't always know the answers, or the road is rough. So much of what we value in life are things we must fight for, or grow through, to be able to truly enjoy them. Love being the best example. As it's written, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Don't give up. Hang in there, and take care of yourself, as well as work on yourself, which it sounds like you're doing. DoRight