it seems to me that h is very very passive aggresive...
sure I'll start making my own lunches to take to work...but I'll never actually make one..I'll play to tired but I'll leave the empty lunch bag on the counter just begging you to do it...
sure I'll say that I'll do my own laundry but I'll conveniently decide it's time to do it when you've started doing the rest of the laundry and I'll just leave my hamper in the bathroom with the rest as if I will actually do it myself...
sure I'll take the responsibility of getting son to bed but I wont actually put him to bed on time...I'll continue to work out in the yard till god knows what time keeping son up till let's see tonight it's 10pm...and you can't do anything about that one because son has become so accustomed to showering with me that he feels you giving him a bath and putting him to bed on time is a punishment!
I'm tired of this...
I can deal with doing his laundry..it's no big deal what's another two loads at least I don't have to put his stuff away...I don't mind making his lunch...in a way it's kind of evil why I prefer to just make it..that way I know he's not going to eat lunch with ow...but this keeping son up is agrivating...
first off it's no good for son!! who then is cranky the next day!
second it's no good for me for two reasons...
1. heck I've got kids underfoot all damn day it would be nice to have at least a couple hours before I go to sleep where there aren't any around and before long an 8pm bed time will be tough to enforce on him.
2. if he doesn't get enough sleep the night before it makes my running errands tough as he's more prone to be unwakeable after he falls asleep in the car on the way to the supermarket or wherever it is I need to get to.
3. it just irks the crap out of me
4. it just irks the crap out of me
I do understand that h has stuff that needs to get done around the house but shouldn't his sons health come first..shouldn't he want his son to be sleeping soundly peacfully rather than hanging around waiting??
I did have a conversation with h about this last night...obviously it didn't sink in...tonight after comming in from working in the yard at oh I don't know let's just say it was after 9 h then takes his bowl of chili with him to the puter to check the weather...then decides to tell me he's going up to the bathroom..his nightly dump and smoke routine before the shower...I get irritated as it's now 9:45 I've cleaned the family room and have shut off the tv and am ready to sit and start reading my chapters for the emt class tommorow night (not like I'll have any time to do it tommorow) and h informs me he's going to the bathroom...mind you that's a 15 min adventure in itself (you guys and your dumps what the hell is the big deal...sit push it out wipe and be done with it..why do you like to linger with it??) I get irritated mention our talk from last night h gives some look and some response that I just didn't care for I decide to take son for a bath instead of waiting (not like I'd be able to read any with him around anyway) that of course sets son in tears...I get the looks from h...and off they go...grrrrr!!! now I don't have the right mind to do any reading and really am now feeling like a pathetic little wife living in her h's world..as long as she keeps quiet and doesn't disturb his world all is well.
see this is why I love this place....I came here...I ranted and got it out...went and started reading..then when h came down from putting son to bed..we were able to address the issue calmly and productively...
ahhh!! seems it was all some miscommunication or misunderstanding...yes yes whatever...no biggie..from now on son will get to bed on time!!
so I read 2 of the 3 chapters assinged and decided to call it a night..
You just might find my latest post of interest as it deals with the whole sex/attraction/communication issue and I'd appreciate your feedback. Thanks in advance!
LL I am realiatively new to this website....have been focusing on MLC with regard to my situation with H. I just read most of your thread, from beginning to now.....WOW...much more inspiring than the MLC section. I need to focus on positives now more than ever. Thanks....your ups and downs and continued ups are so helpful to me at this time. I may start my own thread soon....in this section. I need to re-read on how to start my own thread....you've found such good support and an opportunity to be candid, rant and rave at times....yet you seem so on track and moving in a positive direction so quickly. I will continue to follow and may need your support, once I get my thread started....(today?...I'll try) Mooka
hi mooka and welcome to the bb....yes it is a tad more positive over here than it is over in mlc...people focussing on mlc seem to like to dwell in the negative world.
to start your own thread simply choose a forum and click on post at the top of the page...enter a title and whala you've got your own thread!
glad you found some inspiration in my thread...lord knows it's been a journey of ups and downs.
I look forward to reading about your sit and offering anything I can to help you along your way!
hmmmmm? foolishly I looked again at ow's house for sale site and noticed that she rolled into town 9 years ago...the year I graduated college...the year that I turned 21 and started hanging out at the local watering hole...the year that h started a second full time job...the year I dumped him cause I thought he just didn't care about ME...supposedly (or perhaps it's just typical a stuff where they think they've loved eachother all along but waited) that is when h first felt something for her...maybe just cause she was one of those women who over appreciate any service payed for and provided...
I dunno...I've been waisting time looking back and trying to figure things out..no point..I am not 21 any more and have no desire to hang out at the local watering hole thriving on the attentention given by insecure men...h no longer has the stress of that second job (though he does miss it and may volunteer in our town for that service) things are different now...I know that h does care about me, a tremendous amount...h knows that I care about him as well.
poo! I guess I can't dwell on ow anymore...she is undeserving of "our" time! however I really would like to give her one last call letting her know what a foolish little girl she is and that it's time for her to wake up! but then again I already said that to her didn't I...just that now I believe it more so could say it with even more conviction (as if LL has a hard time with that...beware the rath of LL )
so some positives?
1. after last nights little tif...I only for a second thought crap now h is going to give up on me.
2. when I got to bed h was asleep but still rolled over to spoon me.
3. h called this am to say morning and to ask about what I had said as I got into bed (was just some silly nothing about dd) nice that he ackowledge.
LL, I realy think you have more positives going than you realize. From a newcomers perspective...you are ON A ROLL!!! I'm impressed....Take each day at a time...he is responding....Hang tough. Mooka
By that I mean the medical dummy of course, not your H!
hardi har har!! na, first couple of classes are just basic legal stuff and the like...next week is torture week...let's shove all of human anotomy into two nights!! wooopie that's fun! we get to watch an autopsy video..I'm actually freakely excited...what does that say about me...morbidly curious.
anywho...
positives!!!!!!
1. got a nice message on my cell from h..who started the message "hi it's me your misserable bastard h" (he was kinda stressed when I had talked to him earlier so was apologizing...and ended the call with an impromtu "I love you LL"
2. h called again as I was on my way home and chatted for almost 10 minutes.
3. we are going out sat night...don't know where...we'll figure that out then!
4. it didn't rain today
5. I learned how truly blessed I am upon sadly hearing the tragedy one of my close friends is currently enduring.
6. in talking about being blessed and conveying the tragedy to my h..he said...he thanks god everyday for our children and for ME!!
7. I've realized that things ARE going to be ok and we will move past all this yuck that has happend!
focus on the positives folks...they may be small..they may not always be about your r or the sit...but if you focus on what's going well...you will feel better and good things can only come from that place!
)
